Sometimes, I feel that my life has become static. I don’t feel any motion, change or improvement. It feels as if it’s a prolonged period of confusion. Meanwhile, the world around me runs fast, so fast, it feels that I’m skipping through it, perceiving it as being one motionless picture.
Everything changes so quickly, in the blink of an eye, that I find myself standing static. Days pass by and I’m still in the same frame of mind, struggling with the same thoughts and ravaging opinions, countering the same arguments in my head, tackling the same emotions in my heart, while the world seems to have lived through those days. I find myself at the same spot, lost.
It’s not about the world being too fast and I being too slow to cope with it. No. It’s about me being so occupied with one thing that I become oblivious to the speediness of the world around me.
This leaves me with a mixed bag of feelings, mostly dominated by frustration. This is because I despise myself for not being caught up whereas in reality I was caught up somewhere else.
The world around you may move according to its own normal speed, but sometimes we need to slow down and analyse our pace and direction.
Remaining static can either make you or break you. It can make you wiser, analytical, critical, observant and accurate. Or it can break you into pieces, all loosely tied by the strings of depression, frustration, anger, anxiety and dissatisfaction.
Stagnancy also makes me feel detached. I feel distant from the rest of the world, as if I’m observing it from the outside, as if I’m not a part of it, but just a mere observer. This makes me feel hollow, creating a vaccum in my body, where new strange emotions get sucked and creep in and make my struggle harder.
It’s difficult, to re-find yourself. It’s difficult to reattach yourself to the world you thought you had relinquished. It’s difficult to mentally start over and start afresh. It’s difficult to gather the strength to face the repercussions of your stagnancy while time flew by. It’s difficult to reacquaint yourself with the changes that took place. Moreover, it’s difficult to make yourself accustomed to the fact that you changed while you thought that you remain unchanged during the same time when the world around you changed manifold.
It might be difficult, but it’s not impossible.